Gender Dysphoria
by TheKlaineShipper
Summary: Matt has Gender Dysphoria. Recently transferring to McKinley High because of bullying, she/he deals with crushes and drama. She/he tries to find love while keeping her/his secret.
1. Chapter 1

_**A/N: This idea came to me while watching the 2**__**nd**__** Season of Glee, where Sue becomes the principle. Please, please tell me if this idea is good or bad. Please give this a chance, and if you start to read it, read through the whole thing. Please? Thanks.**_

_**Warning: I'm mixing up the time-line a bit.**_

_**Disclaimer: I own Matt. Nothing else.**_

"Madeleine, it's time to get up! It's your first day at your new school!" I groaned and rolled over. Glancing at the clock, I groaned again. It was 5:30 in the morning. School didn't start for two hours. That gave me time to go over my morning routine.

I brushed my teeth, trimmed my boy cut (I hate long hair; it makes me look like a girl. I locked the bathroom door and began wrapping myself. Inspecting my chest, it looks like it was the best I had done. I actually looked like a guy now. I strapped a bra on, to fool my mother, and put a baggy sweatshirt over it and a pair of baggy jeans. I had to fit in. I had to.

It was 6:30 by the time I finished my routine, and I went downstairs and ate a bowl of cereal. Seven o'clock rolled around and it was time for me to get on the bus. I left the house and as soon as I was out of sight I unstrapped my bra from underneath my hoodie and threw it in a trashcan. I wouldn't need it.

I hopped on the bus when it came around, and soon enough, I was standing outside of the doors of McKinley High School. I took a deep breath and strode through the doors. I was let down, though, when I didn't have one of those slow motion, cool walks with nice lighting. Instead, as soon as I passed through the doors, I was shoved around. Welcome to High School.

Being the new kid isn't fun. I hate the stares I get as I walk down the hallway. They all say one thing. "I haven't seen him before, who is he?" I put my head down, to pretend they weren't watching me. I knocked on the door the Principal's office. I entered and sat in the guest chair to wait for him.

"My name is Principal Figgens. You must be… Madeleine?" He looked up and noticed me. "Who are you?"

"I'm Matt. Or, as my family calls me, Madeleine." I said to him. "I have Gender Dysphoria. If you do not know, it means I don't feel like a girl, I feel like I was born a boy. And I expect to be treated that way."

Principal Figgens nodded. "I will change your name on all of the attendance if that makes you more comfortable." I smiled. "I assume you will also be using the boy's bathroom, correct?" I nodded, still smiling. "If I hear about any funny business, you will have to use the girls bathroom, do you understand?"

"I do sir. There will not be any funny business. May I see my schedule?" He slid a paper towards me. I read off the list. "First period, Spanish. Second period, English. Third period, Geometry. Fourth period, Gym. Wait, I can't do gym." I said. "I can't use either locker room. Is there something else I can do? Any other, I don't know, elective or something?"

"There is a list of electives you could do." Principal Figgens pulled a paper out of his desk and slid it towards me.

"AV club… no… Chess club… no… Glee club…" I trailed off. I had been at a Glee club in my old school. It was pretty well known, but nobody really liked me. Maybe I could change that. "I'll try that. Other than that, my schedule is great. Thank you, Principal Figgens."

"I'll print out the new schedule for you now. Here you go."

And I was off to my first class. Spanish with Will Schuester. I entered the room ten minutes late. "You must be…" He glanced at the computer screen, "Mister Matt Stone?" I nodded. "You can sit… at the third desk in the fourth row, next to Artie."

I moved to my seat. "Hey, I'm Matt. Could you catch me up on what we're doing?"

"Yeah, we're doing Verb Conjugation. To turn it into a different tense." Artie said.

"So like this?" I asked, beginning to write on the paper.

Class passed fast, and before I knew it, it was fourth period. Glee Club. I was so nervous that my palms were sweating. I got there rather quickly, and sat at the back of the classroom. The first people who came in were a couple. Two brunettes, a short girl and a tall boy who was pretty damn attractive. Looked like he was taken though.

The next person to come in was beautiful. He walked in with so much grace, my jaw almost dropped. He was gorgeous. So gorgeous that I didn't notice anyone else walk in.

"Hey guys, we have a new member. This is Matt Stone. Why don't we go around and say our names?"

"Rachel." The brunette girl.

"Finn." Her boyfriend.

"Artie, but you've already met me."

"Mike." The Asian boy.

"Tina." His Asian girlfriend.

"Sam." A blond football player. He was attractive.

"Quinn." A blond cheerleader.

"Santana." The brunette cheerleader.

"Mercedes." The black girl.

"Brittany." Another blond cheerleader.

"Puck." Mohawk-dude.

"Kurt." So that was the god's name. Kurt. "And what are you wearing? The baggy sweatshirt thing was so last season." He was insulting me but I think I liked it. I blushed a little bit and ducked my head.

"Okay, Rachel, Finn, how about the duet you've been working on?"

The two of them began singing, but all I had eyes for was Kurt. He was watching them so intensely. Soon enough, Mr. Schuester turned to me.

"So, Matt, we need to know how you sing. Could you perform for us now?" I gulped. I hadn't really prepared a number.

"I suppose I could try, but I didn't have anything prepared." I turned to the band. "Do you know Last Resort by Papa Roach?" The pianist nodded, and I stepped into the middle of the room.

"Cut my life into pieces  
This is my last resort.  
Suffocation, no breathing  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding.  
This is my last resort.

Cut my life into pieces  
I've reached my last resort  
Suffocation, no breathing  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding.  
Do you even care if I die bleeding?  
Would it be wrong? Would it be right?  
If I took my life tonight  
Chances are that I might  
Mutilation out of sight  
And I'm contemplating suicide.

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
Losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine.

I never realized I was spread too thin  
'Till it was too late, and I was empty within  
Hungry! Feeding on chaos and living in sin  
Downward spiral, where do I begin?  
It all started when I lost my Mother  
No love for myself, and no love from another  
Searching! To find a lover on a higher level  
Finding nothing but questions and devils.

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
Losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine.  
Nothing is alright, nothing is fine  
I'm running, and I'm cryin',  
I'm cryin'.

I'm cryin'.

I'm cryin'.

I'm cryin'.

I can't go on living this way.

Cut my life into pieces  
This is my last resort.  
Suffocation, no breathing  
Don't give a fuck if I cut my arm, bleeding.  
This is my last resort.

This is my last resort.

Would it be wrong? Would it be right?  
If I took my life tonight  
Chances are that I might  
Mutilation out of sight  
And I'm contemplating suicide.

'Cause I'm losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine  
Losing my sight, losing my mind  
Wish somebody would tell me I'm fine.  
Nothing's alright, nothing is fine  
I'm running and I'm crying.

I can't go on living this way!  
Can't go on living this way!  
Nothing's all right!"

I looked around the room. I had been looking at the wall the entire time.

"That was pretty good, Matt. You have a alto voice though."

And that was it. Class was over. The rest of the day passed by in a blur, my mind set on Kurt. I couldn't wait to see him again.

_**A/N: Before you go batshit on me for writing a Kurt/OC fanfiction, it isn't actually Kurt/OC. It will be Kurt/Blaine. Because I ship that. There will be no OC/? Pairing that I know of.**_

_**Wow, I wrote almost 1,500 words and 9 pages.**_

_**So, now that that's over, review please?**_


	2. Chapter 2

_**A/N: Thanks for the review and 53 views! I was so shocked when I saw that number I just had to begin writing another shower.**_

_** SocialButterfly85- This begins in between "The Rocky Horror Glee Show" and "Never Been Kissed" in the second season. Blaine will come in, but he won't be introduced to Matt/Madeleine yet. Maybe the chapter after this. By introduced, I mean you won't see him. But there will be mentions of him. I'm making this confusing.**_

_**On with the story!**_

_**Disclaimer- See Chapter 1.**_

* * *

The next morning I followed my routine. It was interrupted by one simple thing, however. My mother. She wanted to know how my day went yesterday. How was I supposed to explain this?

"Well, classes went by fast and I saw a really attractive guy. Also-" I was cut off by her.

"A cute guy, eh? Should I give you 'the talk'?" She asked, genuinely concerned. A horrified look crossed my face and my cheeks blushed. "No, mom, I'm good."

I left the house once again, my mind lingering on the brown-haired beauty that I saw in Glee Club yesterday. I was so excited to get back, just so I could see him. If I came out as gay, I would be ridiculed to no extent.

When I got to school, I heard the unmistakable thump of someone hitting the lockers. Kurt. I wanted to rush over there and see if he was okay, but that would probably be pretty creepy. The new kid should not be so concerned. I took a deep breath and turned to my locker.

* * *

"I have in my hand, our competition for sectionals next month." Mr. Schuester went over our competition. They were the Dalton Academy Warblers and The Hipsters. The Warblers sounded as if they would be a challenge, but the Hipsters were just trying to hard.

"Moving on, since it seemed to get you guys jazzed about sectionals last year, I want to make this week our second annual boys versus girls tournament. So split up into two groups and… uh… figure out what songs you are going to sing."

Immediately the guys banded together, except for Kurt, who walked over to the girls. "Kurt, I'm going to say it again. Boys' team." He was just so adorable. He looked so hurt. I toned out the other guys just to watch Kurt. He seemed so uncomfortable. I decided to speak up.

"Hey, are you okay? You seem uncomfortable." I asked, talking quietly from behind him.

"Yeah, I'm fine. I just want to be on the girl's team because they'd appreciate my fashion sense more." He sighed. Score, he definitely plays for my team.

"I think your fashion sense is impeccable." I said before turning away, focusing on the other guys.

* * *

THUD. "What is your problem?!" Kurt's voice. Was he okay? I turned around the corner to see a jock turn around and say, "You talking back to me? You want a piece of the Fury?!" This was not going to end well.

"The Fury?" Kurt sounded pissed. Of course he had a right to be, being treated this way.

"It's what I named my fist." He sounded so smug. Time to go in there.

"Lay off, okay? Don't be such a jerk." I said loudly, walking up next to Kurt.

"Hey new kid, might want to think twice before standing up for this homo. People will start thinking you're gay, too." He looked at me in a threatening manner. I wasn't going to back down though.

"Does it look like I care? In fact, that would be most helpful. That way I can see how people would judge me based on who I am." I said, hinting at my sexuality.

"I don't know what that means, but when I find out; I promise you I'll tell the whole school!" He yelled before walking away.

"You're gay?" Kurt asked me.

"Yeah, I play for your team. How did he not understand that?" I asked. What I said had been plain English; it shouldn't have been too hard to comprehend. "Should we go to Schuester?"

"Yeah, let's go." Just then, Karofsky made a second round, throwing a slushie in my face.

* * *

"Holy mother of god this hurts like hell!" I groaned as Kurt helped me was the slushie out of my hair. My blonde hair now looked strawberry blonde.

"The burning in your eyes will go away in a couple of hours." Kurt said, rinsing my hair out in the sink.

"Does this happen very often?" I asked, wincing again. Man, this _hurts_.

"Yep. Almost every day." That's awful! How do they deal with this? "It'll probably happen to you every day now that you came out."

* * *

I left Kurt with Schuester after making him promise to tell me if Karofsky talks to him like that again. I might not be able to do anything about Karofsky, but I may be able to cheer him up.

I joined the guys in some random classroom to discuss ideas. Schuester had changed it so we had to sing a girly song while the girls had to sing Rock 'n' Roll.

Soon enough Kurt came in, and began to give a presentation about costumes. I liked it, but Mohawk-dude didn't.

"Why don't you make yourself useful and go and put rat poison in the old peoples Jell-O, or go visit the Garglers." Man, he pissed me off. He never laid off anybody!

"The Warblers." Kurt said.

"Whatever. See what they're up to. And you can wear all the feathers you want. They'll blend right in." I stared, shocked at him. How could he be so rude?

"Fine." Kurt left the classroom before I could even move.

"What the hell, Puck? That was incredibly rude! He was trying to help!" I stormed out of the classroom before realizing I had no idea where to go.

* * *

I ended up going to the library and just reading. Was Kurt okay? Did Puck hurt his feelings? Where did he go? Was Karofsky bullying him again? Noticing I had read the same page almost four times, I put down the book and went looking for him. Who else did I find but Karofsky?

"Fucking homo…" He muttered glaring at me as he passed by.

"What did you say to me?" I said, my voice growing louder with anger.

"I called you a fucking Homo! No one likes Gays!" And that was it. I snapped.

I threw myself at him. He was stronger than me, however, so he deflected me and threw me towards the lockers. While I was on the ground, he kicked me in the back before picking me up and shoving me into the lockers.

"Nobody. Likes. Gays." He said in a low tone, almost growling to my face. He dropped me to the ground and I fell to it, not even bothering to move.

Eventually the bell rang, and woozy as I was, I was still conscious. I was pretty close to blacking out though. The guys came out of the classroom and, realizing it was me on the ground, rushed over.

"Shit… He's almost unconscious…" I felt someone pick me up and blacked out.

* * *

I woke up in the nurses office. Kurt was arguing with the nurse that he wanted to come see me, make sure I was okay.

"Kuuuuurt…" I groaned. He turned towards me and walked over. "I feel like I was hit by a bus."

"Close enough. Karofsky, right?" He asked. I did what I could to nod my head. I was still kind of waking up. The nurse brought me a drink of water and I gulped it down, the ice cold feeling waking me up fully.

"So, how were the Warblers?" I asked.

"I met someone named Blaine. He's gay too, and he and I talked about our problems about coming out. He was so nice." Kurt sounded like he admired him.

"Cool." Holy crap, was I jealous? I think I was. Wow.

* * *

"You guys need to apologize to Coach Beiste. What you did is not cool." Schuester said, looking in the direction of all the guys.

I turned towards Finn and said, "What is he talking about?"

"I'll tell you later." He whispered back.

We sat silently, watching the girl's performance of "Living on a Prayer." It was amazing. They all actually sang, rather than just Rachel. I wouldn't sound half as good if I had been with them. One this that made me feel better about being a guy.

* * *

I was walking downstairs, using the outside stairwell when I walked past Kurt. I didn't notice who was with him at first.

"Ooh, Kurt, is this Blaine?" I asked, admiring his body.

"Yeah. He's here to help me stand up to Karofsky." He said, looking kind of worried.

"Can I come with?" I asked.

"Wait, wait, Kurt, I thought you said you were the only one at your school out of the closet? Who's he?" Blaine asked. I loved his hair style; I might need to try it out sometime.

"I'm new here, he probably forgot about me." I said, feeling let down. It was most likely the truth too.

"Oh, cool. Yeah, you can come with us." He said.

We walked up another flight. Suddenly Kurt pointed.

"There he is…" He sounded so scared.

"I got your back." Blaine said, and I agreed with him. "Excuse me!"

"Hey lady-boys. Psh, is this your boyfriend Kurt?" He taunted.

"The three of us want to talk to you about something." Blaine said.

"I gotta go to class." He push through them and sent me near tumbling down the stairs, but I grabbed the rail this time.

"Kurt told me what you did." Blaine said. Kurt did mention that he told Blaine about the bullying.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" He said, looking angry.

"You kissed me." Wait what? When did this happen? I hope Kurt was okay.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Are you okay?" I whispered to Kurt.

"Yeah." He whispered back.

"It seems that you are a little confused." Blaine said. Damn, he was being so sassy. "It's totally normal. This is a really hard thing to come to terms with and you should just know that you're not alone." He was sweet too. I could totally see what Kurt saw in him.

"You do not want to mess with me." Karofsky said, slamming Blaine into the fencing.

"You have to stop this!" Kurt said.

"It's not cool. We understand that your confused, but it doesn't mean you can assault someone from a different school because they're trying to help you."

He looked so paranoid as he turned and walk/jogged away.

"Well, he's not coming out anytime soon." I couldn't help it. I laughed at that, just a giggle. Kurt went and sat on one of the steps.

"What's going on? Why are you so upset?" Blaine asked.

"Because until yesterday, I had never been kissed." Kurt said, looking like he was going to cry.

"Hey, Kurt, if it makes you feel better, I'm still a lip-virgin." Kurt chuckled at that. "Love to stay and chit-chat, but I'm almost late to class. See you at Glee Club, okay?" He nodded. I headed off towards my History Class.

* * *

We performed a mash-up of "Stop! In the Name of Love" and "Free Your Mind" that the guys dedicated to Coach Beiste as an apology of using her instead of cold showers. I never really understood how showers helped.

We all had a huge group hug. My mind was still so occupied. The last week had been so full of drama.

I couldn't wait for next week.

* * *

_**A/N: Chapter 2 has been finished. I tried to do my best with the confrontation scene without changing it too much because I absolutely love that scene. That's probably the worst thing I've ever written though.**_

_**Okay, so I wrote 9.5 pages and just over 2,000 words. Yay! So tell me what you thought, tell me how bad it was, and how much you need me to change, what mistakes I made, and who is OOC. Any feedback is welcome, review or PM (which I can't do for about 9 more hours, so reviews would help more.**_

_**Anyone who wants to send in song lyrics for me to use are the best people ever. I'm going to try to move away from the episode script, but for my first thingy, I needed it structured.**_

_**Okay, that's all I have for now. Sporadic update yay!**_


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